Q: What differences are there in the dynamic of being a ‘regular’ with an escort versus seeing a new escort for the first time? What positives do you see in each experience?
Georgie: Escorting is a funny business. On the one hand, I meet lots of different people and get to know them quickly, even though I usually never see them again. And on the other hand, sometimes I’ll end up doing sessions with a client for months or even years, and I can watch them learn and change over time, just as you would a friend or lover.
In sex work lingo, we use the word ‘regular’ to refer to customers who stick around. Clients often use the same term – the phrase ‘regular escort’ means a worker they see often. Sometimes it’s a consistent schedule, such as weekly lunch breaks or monthly overnight dates. But it’s not always about consistency – I’ve known some of my clients for six or seven years, and they book whenever they have the time or money. This could mean six times a year, or simply once a year on their birthday, for example.
When it comes to being an escort client, there’s no right way to do it. I think it often comes down to personality: some clients prefer the excitement of new people and experiences, while others value familiarity and comfort. Some folks happen to find someone they really get along with and prefer to stick it out rather than risk their time and money with a new escort.
I value both types of experiences. It’s a lot of fun (and really thrilling) to meet someone new. But I also appreciate the friendship that can develop with regular clients I’ve known for years. It’s a special kind of professional relationship that you won’t find anywhere else.
Developing an ongoing relationship works well for those who need to feel safe. If you get super anxious meeting new people, it’s nice to be able to relax! But before you commit to seeing someone long term, be warned: becoming a regular has pitfalls…
I’ve met clients who feel superior simply because they see someone often. They might start to expect special treatment from their escort – discounts, extra time, or declarations of affection. This is a mistake. Once expectations develop, your worker may start to feel pressured and uncomfortable…and escorts DO sack clients who become hard work.
The other issue is feelings. We’re taught that casual sex shouldn’t involve feelings at all, so some clients are surprised when they begin to develop attachment to their regular escort! They might assume it’s a sign they’re in love and feel miserable when their romantic advances aren’t welcomed.
No matter whether it’s a one-off or a long-term arrangement, it’s normal to feel affection and attachment to the people that you sleep with – even if it’s not a romantic relationship. But feelings must be managed, or it won’t work out. If you struggle with staying in your lane and keeping it professional, one-off bookings might be a safer option.
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