I’ve always been a really shy person.
I know it might sound a bit odd considering what I do for a living, but I’m actually not much of a ‘people person.’ I often stay at home for days, without seeing another human being. When I socialise, I prefer to spend time with one or two people rather than a huge crowds. I find too many conversations at once overwhelming.
Some people like to think of my sort of personality as introverted. Some people simply see it as shyness, or social anxiety. It’s very common; many of my escort clients feel nervous around people they don’t know. This feeling is worse when sex is involved – there’s much more pressure and everyone their own fears and insecurities. Sometimes it’s really hard for my customers to relax and enjoy themselves.
I’m not sure when I learned to cope with my shyness – perhaps in my mid-twenties? I have begun to accept myself now, and not place too many demands on myself when it comes to social situations. Not everyone loves big parties; that’s okay. Escorting has helped me work on my conversational skills to the point where I feel confident chatting with strangers.
Here are a few of the things that help me out.
Knowing nobody is perfect
Everyone says stupid things sometimes. We all run out of ideas on what to say when we feel nervous. Nobody is suave and personable 100% of the time!
Remembering to like myself
I try and stay aware of the things I like about myself so that I’m not too worried about whether other people like me too. I enjoy getting on with people but I don’t need validation from others to bolster my self-esteem. This has been a long process for me, and there are still some things I don’t like about myself, but mostly I feel that if someone has a bad opinion of me, they’re probably mistaken.
Accepting our differences
At the end of the day, there are so many different personality types out there in the world. Not everyone is designed to get along perfectly with everyone else – sometimes you ‘click’ with people and sometimes you don’t. If the two of you don’t have a lot in common or can’t get along, it doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong; it may just be that your personalities aren’t compatible.
Having said that, I find that nearly everyone has something small in common. As long as I don’t expect to be best buddies with someone, I can usually find something interesting to talk about.
My regular clients will know that I still put my foot in my mouth sometimes, and say something dumb! But that’s all part of the fun of being intimate with someone: a laugh, good times and accepting that we all have our own way of ‘doing’ social interaction.
Asking people about themselves
If you’re really stuck and feel like you don’t know what to say, remember that people love to talk about themselves. If I ask them something and are genuinely interested to hear the answers, I find that my clients will forgive a lot of my social faux pas.
I enjoy my shy clients. I love getting to know people who are a bit more guarded about themselves, and making someone feel comfortable makes me happy. It isn’t always easy…but once we understand and accept one another, everything turns out okay.