Ever lived next door to someone who’s always throwing parties?
You know who I’m talking about: the young, happy ones. The ones who are always hanging out on the porch at three in the arvo on a weekday, drinking wine. The ones for whom, you suspect, life is a lot more fun.
When I was studying at university, my next-door neighbours were always getting together with their friends in the backyard to smoke joints, have barbecues and splash around in the pool. I’d be hanging out my washing on the other side of the fence, and I’d hear them laughing and chatting together. I used to think ‘How the Hell do they have so many friends, and so much free time to party?’ I was jealous – I wanted to be at the party, not at home studying.
Life in the sex industry sometimes feels like one big party. It’s a select social club with a never-ending variety of adventures – sexual escapades, funny moments, dramas, deep conversations. The ‘party that is sex work’ is fenced off from the rest of the world, so the people outside of it can’t really see what’s going on. As an outsider, you might see a flash of colour through the fence, or hear a few seconds of conversation. You know something fun is happening, but you don’t know exactly what – and you have no idea how to get over that fence and join the fun!
It’s easy for us escorts to forget that the folk on the ‘other side’ have a hard time joining the party.
Sex work is still a much-maligned occupation, and folks who see escorts aren’t always able to talk about their experiences. The net result of this is that it’s really difficult to work out what to do if you’re considering seeing an escort. It’s a bit like going out to a restaurant for the first time – where do you sit? Do you order drinks first, or food? What happens if you need a spoon but there isn’t one on the table? And do you pay when you arrive, or when you leave?
Some of the most basic facts about seeing escorts – how to find us, how to arrange a date, what to do if things feel awkward – are a mystery to the average person. It’s difficult to find out what to do without actually giving it a go … and walking into the sexual unknown can be terrifying.
Where does a busy businessman read about how to book an escort? How does a guy in a wheelchair find the courage to approach a sex worker? How does a lonely divorced guy convince himself he’s not a ‘creep’, and that his sexual needs are important enough to spend money on? Those folks on the quiet side of the fence aren’t usually going to help you.
My work is about much more than providing sexual services. I arrange amazing experiences that will give people what they need, emotionally and physically. But there’s also another aspect to my job – being educating, welcoming, and helping those who are trying to get involved. To do this, I’ve been writing blogs for Scarlet Blue for a number of years. I receive a lot of great feedback from both clients and strangers, saying that I’ve helped make sex work a little less mysterious for them.
Now I’ve created something else that will help with that too.
It’s a short ebook called ‘How to Have the Best Escort Date of Your Life’. It’s short and to to-the-point, with basic ideas and approaches that are helpful when booking an escort.
It’s not necessary to memorise long lists of ‘dos’ and ‘don’ts’ to have an amazing escort date. As anyone who has seen a few of us will know, everyone runs their business differently and has different expectations. Rather, this guide explains few simple ideas and gives you some straightforward skills to help you lift your ‘escort dating game’. I talk about what we can provide (it’s more than just sex), how to make yourself an appealing client (by being easy to work with) and how to have a great play sessions (with a few sexy skills I’ve picked up over the years). Most importantly, I try to show that seeing escorts is neither scary nor complicated. It’s not a mysterious process; you can practise at it to become better, like everything else in life.
Everyone can benefit from seeing sex workers … and with a bit of knowledge and confidence, it’s not as scary as it first appears.