Let me tell you about the first time I ever saw a sex worker.
I was only twenty-five at the time. My boyfriend and I wanted to try having a threesome, but we were having trouble finding a suitable partner; we had lots of hot friends, but it seemed impolite to ask them to get involved in our fantasy. Instead, we visited one of Sydney’s high-end brothels.
Our timing wasn’t great. We had made ourselves presentable – he in his jeans and button-down shirt, and me in a slinky dress that only just reached my knees. I was so nervous that my legs were shaking as we walked up the road to the front door of the building. We pressed the doorbell, and when the receptionist buzzed us in, we walked inside. And then it got worse.
The foyer was full of professional football players.
A bus-load of them, in fact. They’d just arrived from God-knows-where, piled into the brothel waiting room. Some of them were still wearing their jerseys (don’t ask me which team, I couldn’t possibly tell you.) As my boyfriend and I entered, they all looked up … and most of them did a dramatic double-take.
“You’re a lucky man, mate,” one of them remarked. The idea of a threesome clearly inspires respect, even in blokes who have done this stuff before. I was so embarrassed, I wanted to sink into the ground and disappear.
By the time we finally had the chance to meet any ladies, I was convinced the whole escapade was a bad idea. Some of the introductions were awkward – women who were surprised to see a couple in the intro room. Others seemed in a hurry to say hello and get away. But one worker sat down next to us and began talking to us as though we were already friends. She was a tall, pale-skinned woman about my age, with an easy manner that immediately made us feel more relaxed. When the receptionist came to ask if we’d met anyone we liked, my partner and I both agreed. And then we paid our money (a week’s worth of income for our minimum-wage selves) and were ushered upstairs into one of the beautifully-appointed rooms.
I wish I’d realised how natural seeing a sex worker can be. By the time we began the booking, I was exhausted from the nervousness of not knowing what to expect. When we finally sat down on the edge of the bed with our chosen lady and started making out, it seemed so normal and natural. I almost felt outraged – why hadn’t anyone told me it would be this simple?
It’s an experience I often think of, whenever I coach a new escort client.
I’ve been offering support to escort clients for the past four months. It started as an afterthought: how can I give my clients and followers a bit of extra assistance in having great escort sessions? Gamely, I donned my Bluetooth headset and threw myself into my first coaching call, a lovely young gentleman who lacked confidence in approaching women.
My very first conversation was a revelation; there’s a lot of great work that can be done in an honest 45-minute chat! I mean, sure, I’ve talked openly with all my escort clients. But sometimes it’s difficult for a client to ask the scary questions, when they’re half naked and sitting on the edge of a mattress. My experience with sex workers taught me that! Sometimes, by the time you get into the bedroom, you’ve already been through so much stress that it’s hard to relax and enjoy the experience.
It’s wonderfully effective being able to listen, encourage, and offer information, in such a low-pressure environment. Sitting cross-legged on my sofa, I talk to guys from all walks of life about their sex lives and escort adventures. Some call from their office desks. Some call from their bedrooms. Some call from their hands-free phone kits while driving, and we explore their ideas and issues as they conduct their daily commute.
The issues clients encounter are varied, but that some problems affect many. If you’re afraid you won’t please your partner, if you have erection problems with new escorts, if you feel a bit depressed the day after a great date – you’re not alone! Experiences like these are universal, speed bumps on the journey to having amazing escort sex. I’ve talked with guys or all ages an levels of experience, and this kind of stuff comes up over and over. There are always strategies for making the situation better.
No matter what comes up in conversation, I never forget my first time. As an experienced escort, it’s easy to become too relaxed. It’s easy to forget that, for most people, seeing a sex worker is a challenging experience. I’ll always remember how terrified I was…and I remember how rewarding that first time turned out to be, once it happened.
When my coaching clients can achieve an amazing escort date without that anxiety, I consider my job well-done.