I think that having feelings for your escort is understandable, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s possible to manage, and enjoy, the feelings of affection that come along with your escort sessions…But only if you respect our time and personal space. Here are my thoughts!
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Hey folks! I’m back answering your questions, and today I’ve got one that I’ve been asked HEAPS lately. That question is: what do I do if I catch feelings for my escort?
Well, to be honest, it’s more often like ‘Help! I think I’m in love with my regular escort, what do I do?’
And man, this is a tough situation, right? So, you’ve been seeing someone for a while and you really like them…and then one day, BAM, you realise your feelings have gotten WAY out of control.
This can happen for all sorts of reasons. Maybe they’ve been listening to talk about your problems, and you miss having that support when they’re not around. Maybe you’re feeling an amazing connection with them, and you wish it could be a bigger part of your life. Or maybe you just have a big, fat crush on them – you think about them all the time between bookings, you check their Twitter obsessively, you fantasise about them day and night…
Look, I’m not going to criticise. Personally, I get massive crushes on people all the time, whether it’s clients or friends or hook-ups.
So what do you do, if you find yourself in this situation with an escort you’ve been seeing?
Well, the thing to remember is that when you pay for an escort’s time, you’re basically paying to have a safe sort of mini-relationship – a relationship that only exists during your booking time. Being caring and connecting with you emotionally is part of the service we provide. And, just like the sex, it’s something we can only provide during the time that you pay for.
I think that having feelings for your escort is kinda understandable, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes we want that feeling of being really into someone – it’s part of the fun. The trick is to keep the feelings manageable and fun, and not let them blow everything up. If you want to keep on seeing your escort in the long term, you need to get used to the idea that your feelings need to stay inside the session time. That means keeping all those romantic feelings under control, unless you’re actually spending time with them.
I know that’s easier said than done. But if you don’t manage your feelings, you run the risk of losing that person entirely. Like any other businessperson, we’re not obligated to provide our services for free. If your feelings start to intrude on our personal lives, that’s not fair on us because we have other clients, other work to do and of course our own private lives.
If you message your escort a lot in your own time or start putting pressure on them to date you, you might wear them out so that they don’t look forward to seeing you anymore. In a worst-case scenario, they might get uncomfortable and stop seeing you as a client.
Here are a few tips for keeping your emotions under control.
Firstly, admit to your feelings, even if it’s just to yourself. When we try to pretend this stuff isn’t happening, it comes out in all sorts of unexpected ways. To handle what you’re feeling, you need to face up to it.
Second, set some boundaries. Boundaries are the lines we draw in our personal and professional lives to make sure everyone is being treated respectfully – basically it means you looking after your own feelings, and not dumping them on your escort. This might mean making an agreement with yourself that you won’t contact them unless you’re making a booking. It might mean allowing yourself to be super romantic during dates, but understanding that once your booking is over, you need to go back to treating them like a professional. It might mean limiting the number of sessions you have with them, so that you have time to calm down a bit down between meetings.
And finally, remember that we are professionals. It’s our job to look after you, and we want to have long and productive professional relationships with you. But we can only do that if you respect our time and personal space. It’s totally possible to manage, and enjoy, the feelings of affection that come along with your escort sessions…keep working on it! If you’re really struggling, I’d recommend a sex therapist or a sex-positive counsellor that’s okay with talking about this stuff.
At the end of the day, managing your emotions a bit like colouring inside the lines – you won’t always get it right, but you WILL get better and better the more you practice.