My friends sometimes say, “I could never do your job.”
“Why not?” I ask.
“I’m not skinny enough,” they reply. Or “I’m too old.” Or “I hate dressing up.” Or “I’m not fit enough to have sex for hours.”
When most people think of escorts, they picture someone who looks like a Penthouse model: young, skinny and glamorous. The imagine hours and hours of non-stop, porn-style sex. While there are lots of workers out there who fit that stereotype, it’s not the whole story. This is because the sex industry caters to the actual needs of the market.
While it’s universally assumed that all men desire skinny, blonde twenty-year-olds for no-strings- attached sex, the reality is very different. The range of body types and ‘looks’ that clients find attractive varies much, much more than television and Women’s Weekly would have you believe. It’s convenient for TV and magazines to convince us that there’s only one acceptable way to be attractive. It gives us unhappy consumers something to aspire to – and to spend our money on. Fashion, beauty treatments, fitness regimes… much has been said of the way media affects womens’ body image. I’d like to also point out that men are affected by this bullshit too – they are told that only ‘conventionally beautiful’ women are desirable. If their preferences don’t fit the expected norm, they’re judges as less masculine, or as exhibiting ‘low standards’ or ‘poor judgement’.
My experience is that people – especially guys – are good at seeking out what they want, regardless of what they think they ‘should’ want. I’m a curvy size ten, well over the age of twenty. I’m also a brunette with mixed racial heritage. The people who are drawn to me are the ones that love generous butt and cleavage, exotic looks, and an hourglass figure. I see a lot of people for whom this is their natural choice.
Some guys make similar assumptions about what the experience will be – that it’s supposed to be all about getting off, preferably by re-creating all their favourite porn scenes. In reality, the needs we meet are might more broad. Escorts are also great at listening, cuddling, reassuring, and teaching new sexual skills.
I think there are people out there who haven’t tried to book an escort, because the ‘stereotypical’ idea doesn’t appeal to them. I’ve definitely met couples who say “We were really nervous because we thought you’d be much more glamorous and confident than we are.” I’m just a regular person, and often my clients do react with relief when they realise they will be spending time with the girl next door instead of an escort who reminds them of the chick that picked on them in high school. In the sex industry, you need only look to discover someone who will fit your fantasies. We are all so diverse and individual – size four to size twenty-six, short hair and long, casual and glam. We are curvy, soft, athletic, petite, pale, tanned, freckled. we are bold femme fatales, shy lovers, intellectual and down to earth. We’re not even all women – there are some really great guys out there too, if your tastes stray from the female gender.
What sort of person would you love to try spending time with, even if only for a few hours? What sort of person makes your heart race? And further to that, what’s missing from your sex life right now? It could be simply getting off (and there’s nothing wrong with that.) But if you look deeper, you may find a desire for connection, a need to be listened to, a sexual problem that needs to be explored, or a kink desire that has gone unfulfilled.
Whatever your need, be open and honest and the chances are very good that there’s a sexpert out there that will be perfect for you.